It was the of the holiday, and something went wrong and Allana (my wife) and I were feeling a bit upset about something, and somewhat confused at God.
I took a couple of minutes to walk along the seafront just to clear my head…
I was hoping for one of those moments where suddenly you get enveloped with a sense of peace, or a fresh revelation of God’s love, or maybe a sign, wonder or blessing,
instead a large seagull singled me out to poo on my head!
It felt a bit like that scene from Bruce Almighty, and I felt like Jim Carrey shaking my puny fist at God… Or Jonah after the plant died… Now I knew an know in the grand scheme of things a couple of disappointments and some seagull poo aren’t the end of the world, but at times they can feel like it!
I guess I was asking God can I/we really go on?
Do I/we have the oomph for another set of challenges or mountains to climb?
…At that moment the answer felt like a pretty clear “no”.
Talking to Allana afterwards, all the biblical truths came out about trusting God for the future, he has a plan, he is faithful and blar blar blar, all the things we are supposed to know and ought to say and think, but sometimes even though it is true, there are occasions when it simply doesn’t FEEL true.
Sometimes all that is left is to say to God, I understand that I don’t understand, I know I ought to trust you, but today it feels a bit harder than usual, but I’m still here and you are still here and ultimately that’s what matters the most. There is a verse, which says “after you have endured remain standing” and sometimes to remain standing (even with Seagull poo in your hair) is not just an achievement but in a weird kind of way is also an act of worship!
Maybe one day I’ll understand, maybe one day I’ll praise you for what was a disappointment today, and maybe even we will smile about the pooing seagull? Who knows?