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Top10tips. Working with guys.

1) Work on your own personal discipleship. If you want to see other people come to know Jesus make sure it’s real for you, after all you wouldn’t trust a skinny chef. Maybe get a prayer partner and have some accountability and be real about issues like lust, porn and masturbation as if you are battling this stuff alongside guilt, shame and condemnation it is going to effect your fruitfulness in all that Christ has for you. Interestingly when I was in my 20’s was part of a lads prayer group and about 9 months into praying together one guy shared about lust issues -and all of us confessed to having these too, just none of us had the courage to be real and vulnerable. Yet when we started to get real this became the catalyst for God doing so much more in each of us.

2) Make sure all your time is not being sucked into the Christian bubble, if it is make a priority to meet and socialise with people who aren’t Christians yet.

3)Be A Good Mate.
Be friendly, invite people to things (not just Christian stuff) and accept invites to stuff too -it’s got to be two way! Often the only time we invite people to anything is something for missional for Church, rather than building meaningful relationships with those around us. Even if your friend never expresses any interest in finding out more about Jesus, still be a good mate, and keep on praying -don’t treat people like projects.

4) Pray. If we want to see peoples lives changed, then the most powerful thing we can do is pray for them.

5) Authenticity. Make sure that people know what you are inviting them too, if it has spiritual input let them know, it’s okay if they say they don’t want to come, don’t hide it from them as people feel tricked, and don’t assume either that they won’t be interested, give them the option to say no or yes!

6) Think about all the stuff we do as Church is it accessible to everyone? I used to help out every week at our CafĂ© Tots group, and we had a few dads who came, and we were one of the few groups they felt welcome in, and they became friends. Often these type events can feel exclusive for dads. Often older peoples groups can be exclusively old ladies, but with a bit of thought sometimes it only takes a bit of thought and care to make it work for older gents too. Even Messy Church often has crafts that have a ton of glitter and sparkles and ran by ladies, perhaps include activities like construction, running around games and lego -interestingly I reckon that lots of girls would love this sort of stuff too! And Church itself, lots of flowers, cup-cakes, drapes, lovey dovey songs (“isn’t he beautiful?”) and ‘Jesus loves you’ sermons -maybe could re-think this a little too!

7) Chat to other Christians, and other Christian blokes, see how you can help and encourage one another to be more fruitful in seeing Christ made known. If you already have a guys group don’t keep doing what you’ve always done, but maybe take time to ask some of those tough questions, ask one another how we could encourage each other, pray for one another, dream dreams for and with one another. Help one another, maybe learn a bit from one another, support one another, and if you meet other peoples friends, again be friendly, normal and inclusive.

8) Events and socials, don’t leave it up to your church to organise stuff, gather people together and do things together, share lives together. Things don’t have to have a talk in them for God to work through them, just talk to one another about life and stuff and talk about faith with honesty but not too pushy.

9) Be real for you, use your passions and hobbies -have seen some great things happen around cycling, beer festivals, nerdy sci-fi films, speedway, football be yourself and real about your interests etc. It is okay too to be vulnerable, and okay not to have all the answers,

10) In all of this, make sure you maintain your commitment and a priority to your spouse and your kids. It is great to have a weekend away with the boys, but realise that your wife could well have been left at home with the kids, maybe take some time out the following week with the kids so she can do something she likes. Too often those nearest us suffer from our desire to save the world for Christ, but remember being a husband and a dad is a high calling as well.

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