Lets talk more about Politics and Religion…

Religion and politics is said to be a dangerous combination, especially at dinner parties! Perhaps that’s why I don’t get invited to many dinner parties!

Yet, for me most things are to some extent political and spiritual, even things such as the arts or literature are often drawing deeply from these wells.

The “religion” bit (although I think this is the wrong word, it is about spirituality seeking truth and meaning, what people normally mean if philosophy) is about those ‘existential’ questions:

“Who am I?” “What is the purpose of my life on this planet?”

“What is right and wrong, and why is that?” –those questions will take you to whether or not you believe in a God, and if you do what kind of God do you believe in?

Science is not at odds with the concept of a creator, science and philosophy are both ultimately about seeking after truth and answers, one philosophy asks “why” and science asks “how” and both questions are needed, as both shed light on that core question at the heart of “what does it mean to be human?”

Science, philosophy are asking A, if God exists; and B and trying to think God’s thoughts after him/her/them.

Perhaps the teachings of someone like Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed or Richard Dawkins has shaped your world-views on these issues?

Yet our thinking on these do not operate in a vacuum as they impact how we think about “doing life” and “how we manage to do life with others”; how we do life with others is the essence of politics, the ordering of society, and who gets to choose whether we just let the strongest and the wealthiest do what they want, or whether we believe that we all should get a say?

Perhaps, you are influenced by people like Plato, Soccrates, Karl Marx or other political thinkers, that might also include people like Wilberforce, Martin Luther King Jr, Desmond Tutu or Gandhi who were motivated by religious conviction too?

One of the things I am interested in (and its not very sexy) is theological method, what makes theologians think what they think –from reading many political biographies even if there is not a term for it, how many of our politicians got to where they are in their thinking is (I think) fascinating.

As a lover of history I am interested in why people do what they do, or why the don’t do something, interestingly for me history is like sociology and psychology worked out on a broad collective canvas. History is really only yesterday’s current affairs, and as John F. Kennedy warned us “those who forget the past are deemed to relive it”, that brings us back to humanity trying to make sense of the world collectively today.

In many ways that is why we need artists, and play-writes and poets, because we need languages to be able to articulate this primal need within human-being to know (to quote Freddie Mercury) “What we are living for?”

Even if we do not join in the discussion that still does not alter the great philosophical question about whether there is a universal truth, a judge of what is right and wrong other than just our own very subjective consciences. As a horrifying picture of the Gestapo at a Nazi Death camp shows “just because we might not be interested in politics does not mean that politics is not interested in us”, we can be victims of terror attacks or war, and certainly these things are done in the name of people we have elected and pay our taxes to fund, that makes us in some way complicit.

And what of God in all of this, again s/he’s existence is binary –either existing or not- and whether I believe in God’s existence or not will not change whether he does or does not exist, I am either right or wrong.

The question of “if God exists, what is God like?” is a more interesting one, as this leads us to the issue of suffering, and could God stop suffering, and to what extent has God given humanity free will and the ability to choose –and how my behaviour impacts other people; how our stewardship of our planet results in the distribution of its resources and what about sickness and disease –how and why do these occur, and is someone in some way to blame for them all? Which again brings us back to “Does a God exist, and if so what are they like?”

So, I think we need to talk more about religion and politics, because if you take these away, is there actually anything left to talk about?

Gaps in photos, spaces at the party, and people missing.

There is a scene in Blackadder goes Forth, which is set in the trenches of the first World War, where Lieutenant George, talks about his friends from his private school whom were all together when they signed up, and slowly he realises that all his friends have been killed in the war. It is –I think- one of the most moving scenes in the series.

Sat in Anthony’s lounge, I asked him if he was still in touch with any of the cohort of ordinands we trained with from St. John’s? Sadly it felt strangely reminiscent of this scene as quite a number were no longer active in ordained ministry.

Some were casualties of (so called) “friendly fire”, a term used when an ally kills someone on their own-side –forced out and others through burn-out.

I thought for a moment about the privilege of leading God’s people, and wondered why sometimes it was such a painful fight? True, we are in a spiritual battle, and I think too often we forget that there is a real enemy that wants to take us out of the game; to destroy our marriages and halt our Kingdom fruitfulness. We are also sinful and flawed human beings trying to lead other sinful and flawed human beings and discovering that the path we are called upon is narrow and tough, costly and sacrificial, and fruitfulness and faithfulness are not prized highly in our ‘instant success’ world. Sadly, too, I believe that we often are too afraid to take on the prevailing culture, often feeling like Daniel in the midst of the lions dean, it is easier to look to other way, brush stuff under the carpet and collude with sin –be popular but something inside you will begin to die.

The abolitionist William Wilberforce said: “You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know” and the Civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr said: “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter”.
Yet, as we talked, I wondered if perhaps there was another category even more dangerous, the “fade out” or “sell out”, they might stay in the job, they may even look reasonably successful, but they loose their gospel edge amid rotas and spread-sheets, burial plots and funeral plans, building maintenance and diocesan subcommittees. The disciples said: “it is not good to neglect the ministry of the word to wait on tables” (Acts 6:2) to fade out or sell out and be busy doing nothing of eternal significance or Kingdom advance.

As I thought about this I was reminded of the comedy series “Yes Minister” and later “Yes Prime Minister”, and how the civil service would see the Government Ministers they received being “house-trained” to do what the civil service wanted them too, which was normally increase the bureaucracy but make no actual lasting change.

There was a classic episode where the (Prime) Minister –Jim Hacker- discovers a hospital that does not actually have any patients –but has won awards for their admin!- a classic case of forgetting why and what we are called to do what we do in the first place.

As I thought about this for a moment, I felt a creeping smugness that evaporated as I realised how easy it is to be judgemental, and then I thought that at times I may have been actively trying to do the right things practically perhaps at times I had let my personal prayer, intersession, devotional times slip and actually, the times on God’s presence or on our knees is as valuable –in fact more valuable- than all the running about we can do, indeed the Bible reminds us that “if the Lord does not build the house the workers labour in vain” (Ps,127).

The Apostle Paul writes: But each one should build with care.11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames” (1Cor.3.10-15).

I wondered what had been “silver and gold and costly stones” and what had been “hay, mud and straw that burns” with has no lasting and eternal value, and then thought too about life as a whole, not just the “spiritual” bits.

I thought of the times I have visited dying people, and I have often thought around the idea of finishing well, what would it look like in my life? I am reminded of the words of Paul when he says: “have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing” (2 Tim 4:7-8).

As I though of these challenging thoughts another group came up in conversation, sadly one guy in the year above us and one in the year bellow were both “chucked out” getting caught up in evil sexual behaviour that resulted in them ending up being sent to prison.

I remember reading an article about guys and pornography that talks of it being a web –literally now that the internet is awash with porn- and it gradually entices people who get drawn into darker and more sinister things and infiltrates their everyday life.

One of these guys had been a friend when at college, although we lost touch, and I remember seeing a newspaper article on line, when I was waiting for a friend to turn up to a meeting, outlining his awful behaviour. I was shocked, I was heart broken, I knew this guy had at one time been on fire for Jesus and wanting to follow him faithfully, but clearly some horrible stuff had got a hold on him. People had been hurt by his crimes, nor I could not imagine the devastation for his family or congregation and he himself lost everything. The friend walked into meet with me, looked at my face, and asked: “has someone died?”

I know that there are many things I am vulnerable too –in fact we all are- and things that are often unseen fester and grow in the darkness; we need good friends who shine the light of Christ into those dark-places and can speak truth to us in love. I remembered that Anthony on a couple occasions had rebuked me –“kicked my butt!”- but he was right to do so, and I was reminded that the book of Proverbs has many quotes about a true friend speaking uncomfortable truths to us.

It was a sobering thought that sixteen or so years ago when we first started at theological college, huddled together for a college picture on the green, that a decade and a half later some of us would be missing. A more worrying thought is whether those we trained with might be missing for eternity, some having not just struggling with the institution of the Church but no longer following Jesus, beloved brethren not at the eternal party in heaven was a painful thought.

My eyes well up as I thought of my eight year old daughter, and prayed silently in my head and heart, that she would come to know/follow/serve and love Jesus, too often some great evangelists and Church leaders –ones who have seen must fruit and salvations- yet have family that want nothing to do with Christ nor the Church.

Then I smiled as I thought about some of us arriving in glory, promoted to glory as the Salvation Army call it. I no doubt looking pretty scruffy and unshaven, Anthony no doubt wearing a Man United top, but probably limping in, probably a having a “sheep-bite” scar or two, but longing to hear the words “well done good and faithful servant” (Matt.25.23) from the one who did not sell/fall/burn/fade out but through him we can confidently come.

There is a scene in Blackadder goes Forth, which is set in the trenches of the first World War, in whicjwhere Lieutenant George, talks about his friends from his private school whom were all together when they signed up, and slowly he realises that all his friends have been killed in the war. It is –I think- one of the most moving scenes in the series.

Sat in Anthony’s lounge, I asked him if he was still in touch with any of the cohort of ordinands we trained with from St. John’s? Sadly it felt strangely reminiscent of this scene as quite a number were no longer active in ordained ministry.

Some were casualties of (so called) “friendly fire”, a term used when an ally kills someone on their own-side –forced out and others through burn-out.

I thought for a moment about the privilege of leading God’s people, and wondered why sometimes it was such a painful fight? True, we are in a spiritual battle, and I think too often we forget that there is a real enemy that wants to take us out of the game; to destroy our marriages and halt our Kingdom fruitfulness. We are also sinful and flawed human beings trying to lead other sinful and flawed human beings and discovering that the path we are called upon is narrow and tough, costly and sacrificial, and fruitfulness and faithfulness are not prized highly in our ‘instant success’ world. Sadly, too, I believe that we often are too afraid to take on the prevailing culture, often feeling like Daniel in the midst of the lions dean, it is easier to look to other way, brush stuff under the carpet and collude with sin –be popular but something inside you will begin to die.

The abolitionist William Wilberforce said: “You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know” and the Civil rights activist Martin Luther King Jr said: “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter”.
Yet, as we talked, I wondered if perhaps there was another category even more dangerous, the “fade out” or “sell out”, they might stay in the job, they may even look reasonably successful, but they loose their gospel edge amid rotas and spread-sheets, burial plots and funeral plans, building maintenance and diocesan subcommittees. The disciples said: “it is not good to neglect the ministry of the word to wait on tables” (Acts 6:2) to fade out or sell out and be busy doing nothing of eternal significance or Kingdom advance.

As I thought about this I was reminded of the comedy series “Yes Minister” and later “Yes Prime Minister”, and how the civil service would see the Government Ministers they received being “house-trained” to do what the civil service wanted them too, which was normally increase the bureaucracy but make no actual lasting change.

There was a classic episode where the (Prime) Minister –Jim Hacker- discovers a hospital that does not actually have any patients –but has won awards for their admin!- a classic case of forgetting why and what we are called to do what we do in the first place.

As I thought about this for a moment, I felt a creeping smugness that evaporated as I realised how easy it is to be judgemental, and then I thought that at times I may have been actively trying to do the right things practically perhaps at times I had let my personal prayer, intersession, devotional times slip and actually, the times on God’s presence or on our knees is as valuable –in fact more valuable- than all the running about we can do, indeed the Bible reminds us that “if the Lord does not build the house the workers labour in vain” (Ps,127).

The Apostle Paul writes: But each one should build with care.11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames” (1Cor.3.10-15).

I wondered what had been “silver and gold and costly stones” and what had been “hay, mud and straw that burns” with has no lasting and eternal value, and then thought too about life as a whole, not just the “spiritual” bits.

I thought of the times I have visited dying people, and I have often thought around the idea of finishing well, what would it look like in my life? I am reminded of the words of Paul when he says: “have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing” (2 Tim 4:7-8).

As I though of these challenging thoughts another group came up in conversation, sadly one guy in the year above us and one in the year bellow were both “chucked out” getting caught up in evil sexual behaviour that resulted in them ending up being sent to prison.

I remember reading an article about guys and pornography that talks of it being a web –literally now that the internet is awash with porn- and it gradually entices people who get drawn into darker and more sinister things and infiltrates their everyday life.

One of these guys had been a friend when at college, although we lost touch, and I remember seeing a newspaper article on line, when I was waiting for a friend to turn up to a meeting, outlining his awful behaviour. I was shocked, I was heart broken, I knew this guy had at one time been on fire for Jesus and wanting to follow him faithfully, but clearly some horrible stuff had got a hold on him. People had been hurt by his crimes, nor I could not imagine the devastation for his family or congregation and he himself lost everything. The friend walked into meet with me, looked at my face, and asked: “has someone died?”

I know that there are many things I am vulnerable too –in fact we all are- and things that are often unseen fester and grow in the darkness; we need good friends who shine the light of Christ into those dark-places and can speak truth to us in love. I remembered that Anthony on a couple occasions had rebuked me –“kicked my butt!”- but he was right to do so, and I was reminded that the book of Proverbs has many quotes about a true friend speaking uncomfortable truths to us.

It was a sobering thought that sixteen or so years ago when we first started at theological college, huddled together for a college picture on the green, that a decade and a half later some of us would be missing. A more worrying thought is whether those we trained with might be missing for eternity, some having not just struggling with the institution of the Church but no longer following Jesus, beloved brethren not at the eternal party in heaven was a painful thought.

My eyes well up as I thought of my eight year old daughter, and prayed silently in my head and heart, that she would come to know/follow/serve and love Jesus, too often some great evangelists and Church leaders –ones who have seen must fruit and salvations- yet have family that want nothing to do with Christ nor the Church.

Then I smiled as I thought about some of us arriving in glory, promoted to glory as the Salvation Army call it. I no doubt looking pretty scruffy and unshaven, Anthony no doubt wearing a Man United top, but probably limping in, probably a having a “sheep-bite” scar or two, but longing to hear the words “well done good and faithful servant” (Matt.25.23) from the one who did not sell/fall/burn/fade out but through him we can confidently come.

Learning from a make-less selfie….

I’m not quite sure if this will even make any sense to anyone else, but I’ll have a go. I have come to realise that on occasions I see thing differently to other people, and they see things differently to me, and neither of us is lying but our perspective -and perhaps baggage and blindspots- alter our recall of situations and events.

I wonder what God thinks, him seeing everything and knowing everything, including the blind-spots and baggage we all have, including mine. He knows me, and “gets me” and he also knows and gets them too, he knows what I think and why I think it, just as he knows other people think and what and why they think that too.

Jesus knows where we see perceptively and where things are cloudy, his eyes see deeper than we will ever know or understand. He also knows our quirks, those bits at that seem at odds with the rest of our character.

This lead me to think about my own life, and I realise afresh that we are all a strange mix of contradictions, St. Paul captures something in his letter to the Romans when he says “the good I want to do, I don’t do and the wrong things I don’t want to do, that I do do” (Rom.7).

I realise that the person I aspire to be –and occasionally get there but more often than not fail to do so- and the person I am are not the same person; I get it right sometimes and wrong othertimes, I can be both wise and stupid, bold and cowardly, holy and sinful at more or less the same moment.

I guess to some extent we all wear masks and have a persona, but knowing that God knows the real us, even if we sometimes get confused between the two, and God is okay knowing things are not as black and white as we would like them to be.

I do not want to live my life as someone who is self deluded, but also we shy away from things that are painful, we do not like to admit that we are flawed and fallen, and fall short of our own expectations of ourselves.

Those moments of looking in the mirror in the cold light of day can be painful, if I wore make up, there are times –lockdown especially- that feel like “make-up-less-selfie-days” seeing myself as I actually am, rather than the person I would like to think I am. I remember reading a quote where some comedian said: “I have low standards that I fail to meet” which probably is where most us discover is true for ourselves at some-point in our lives.

Spiritual maturity and self awareness, do we truly know what we are like, and life I believe go hand in hand, and as I thought back over my life I am reminded of Donald Rumsfelds famous quote about “known unknowns” and how often at the start of many seasons I didn’t know what I didn’t know about myself, those “unknown unknowns” he talked about.

Certainly as a Vicar, a Christian and just as a Human being, I have (normally) wanted to do well and be good at something, but the intention and the reality are not the same thing, am I willing to listen and acknowledge the truth when I get things wrong? Sadly I know that at times I have been slow to listen, or perhaps slow to see the truth in what has been said.

Seeing truth amid things that are said is painful, no one likes to be critisied but being able to sift through and discern what it truth and lies is a real challenge.

We all like to be praised, and again sifting through that and discerning what is true and what is flattery can also be a challenge.

To really be able to look, and see ourselves, neither with condemnation nor ego is a challenge, a tightrope even, knowing our strengths and our weaknesses feels very unbritish, and knowing that even our strengths can have shadow-sides, and sometime our flaws have silver-linings, can confuse our head and our hearts.

The ancient monastics (St. Anthony) used to say “your cell is the best teacher” by that they meant that time alone with yourself you confront yourself ‘warts and all’ -certainly many of us have had this “cell like experience” with the Corona Virus lockdown, yet I am not sure that I entirely agree with them, I think it is in community through relationships that I have also realised my flaws and failings, my rough edges rubbing up against other peoples rough edges. We need both one another to teach us about ourselves, and ourselves with time to face ourselves, both, can hold that uncomfortable mirror up to us.

Even knowing what are like does not guarantee that we will be different, as we are fighting against our own nature, our human muscle memory; and yet I do believe that change is possible, but know that change sadly is not often easy or cheap, and there is a choice to stay as we are or learn from our mistakes and be different.

I wish that changing our nature was a bit like uploading an app on a phone, quick and painless, but instead there is a long journey ahead, and probably this journey will have more revelation and pain to face.

Someone once said that you cannot put your past behind you until you have faced it, and facing stuff is never easy, and even though we can do this with God alongside us, it still feels huge and I wonder “God can you really fix me?” –I wonder if “fix” is the right word as we never get to a place of sinless perfection, but I do genuinely believe we can get to a place of greater wholeness and Christ-likeness than where we are at the moment, if we are prepared to embrace it and work on our change and transformation with God.

As much as I don’t want a mirror held up to me, and seeing my cracks in the cold light of day is uncomfortable, but deep down (and probably a little reluctantly as we all want to avoid things that hurt us) I would rather grow in my awareness of self, to let the light in (even if it hurts my eyes), to know the truth –which hurts- but also sets you free, and begin the work of being changed.

I have come to realise that I am not as spiritually mature, wise or Godly as I have at times believed, indeed I think that my pride has blinded me, and that perhaps God’s work in me needs to go deeper than I thought, that I am not as sorted as I would like to be –or I would like others to think I am.

As I think about things I have done or got wrong -especially things where maybe I have hurt people or made bad choices- I wish I could have a time machine and alter history, but of course I cannot; I do however have a choice about what I do in the future and how we live better in light of revelation. How do I live differently from here on in? Which at times feels really scary as even broken ways have the comfort of being familiar, and a new normal feels like a step into the unknown?

This might be just a blog of non-specific waffle, I hope not, in one sense I don’t want to do all the washing of dirty laundry here, but instead I hope that this will speak into where there needs to be challenge and change to you, and help you with working with God through your refiners fire, purifying the Gold and burning up the dross.

Maybe my humble ramblings might be a black and white line drawing for you to add your colours and specifics your hearts and minds to bring this post to life for you.

Bless you, and hope that Jesus is gracious in changing you to be more like him.

Poole New Monastics (as shared in Derby).

“Mase, you need to meet Mark Phillips!” said my friend Chris, draining his pint, “You’d really get on with Mark; he’s actually doing the stuff, not just talking about it!” Chris continued, flicking his eyes towards the bar, as if to say: “Catch up, Mase, my glass is empty!”
 
I ordered two more pints of beer and a plate of nachos, which had become a tradition, and continued: “I’m so tired of the odd token-gesture event or mission/justice event appearing randomly on the church programme, feeling like a conscience-salve whereby people can say ‘at least we are doing something’…”
 
Chris grinned with a smile that revealed, ‘I know exactly what you mean!’ “Cheers, Mase,” he said, as he took a swig of beer, before adding, “Mark’s the real deal!”
 
I had not yet met Mark, or become mates, but Chris went on to explain that Mark was the Community Worker and centre manager at Parkstone United Reformed Church. He was doing great stuff engaging in community action and activism, and building community with a diverse bunch of people all through the week, eating together each day, alongside a rhythm of prayer, exploring the tension between activism and contemplation.
 
“Sounds an interesting guy,” I said, taking a first sip of beer from a new pint, “I’ll have to look him up.” One of the advantages of being a newbie (or a returner) to a town is that you can just drop people emails and say, “Hey, I’m interested in exploring stuff. Can I shout you a coffee and pick your brains?” Which has opened many really exciting doors over the years!
 
“I think Mark is doing some work with addiction too,” said Chris, his mind evidently thinking about Simon Turner. Chris was also a friend of Simon’s and, like me, was in shock at his passing. Both of us had been speaking about how we would like to do something in his memory.

So, I managed to meet Mark; and he asked me to speak at one of their morning services. At the end, Mark pressed a key into my hand and said, “Use here anytime you want for whatever you need!” This deeply touched me as I was exploring what God was calling me to and where he was calling me.

Chatting to Mark, he gave voice to his heart once as ‘longing to open the first monastery in one hundred years’, envisioning a community in which all are welcome, where there is practical help – with the hungry fed, clothed and given shelter, where addictions are broken and people are healed by love – in a place which is both prayerful and practical.

Mark offers radical hospitality to all who visit. He always seems delighted to see you when you walk in the door, and always instructs you to: “put the kettle on and lets have a brew!” (I wonder how many cups of tea he drinks a day!) It is rarely (if ever) from bone china cups with matching saucers, but it feels like family: come as you are and hope you can accept us as we are.

As part of the community here in the building, there are a couple of people ‘hot-desking’, some admin staff and some volunteers from a project called Life Works.

Many of these have additional needs, such as poor mental health, either in recovery or suffering from conditions like Asperger’s. So, it is a pretty disparate but wonderful bunch of people, that truly feels like a foretaste of heaven.

Each day the community begins with prayer (although, sadly, only a few of us come regularly to this). The entire community stops and eats together both at lunchtime and also at 4:00, when we have “Tea and Toast” together.

If you are a visitor and happen to arrive near lunchtime or near time for tea and toast, people are made welcome!

With Mark, we have begun to explore New Monasticism a bit more intentionally within Poole.

As part of this, a group of us went to check out an intentional community in Boscombe (the other-side of Bournemouth). A group of young adults from the Vineyard Church were given use of this house rent free following an uncomplimentary undercover documentary on landlords, that featured that particular house. As we sat around their kitchen table drinking coffee, they said “it was amazing people have given their lives to Christ in the same kitchen that they once snorted cocaine in!” This community welcomed people for a Thursday evening meal and their testimony was similar to the child who gave Jesus his packed lunch of five loaves and two fish and from that Jesus fed over five thousand people, somehow the food just kept stretching and everyone who came wanting food was fed (Matt.14).

As we began to explore what God was calling us to in Poole we soon were joined by two amazing people Tracy, a Buddhist, and a guy –Mike- who had been exploring different faiths mainly more eastern ones, which was a bit unexpected and we have had some interesting conversations but has actually been an amazing blessing.

The two words we have focused on are: ‘Activism’ and ‘Contemplation’; Activism risks burn-out and contemplation can give birth to lethargy, but learning to harness the benefits of both elements forces us to become ‘reflective practioners’, acting wisely, living intentionally deeply, whereby our activism brings practical reality and physical embodiment to our contemplation.

Tracy with her Buddhist background has some interesting takes on this, using phrases such as “compassion and wisdom” and “our internal and external life”, sometimes it takes a fresh set of eyes to enable us to see things differently.

Activism with contemplation (or contemplation with activism) enables us to go deeper and to reach out further; and as we reach out further, so we can go deeper.

Both Mark and I are by nature off the scale activists, but we have come to realise and value the need of prayer, reflection and space to hear the voice of God afresh and to operate from a healthy place of wholeness. Both of us have previously struggled to make time for retreats and reflections; we now stop each month for a day and take some cars up to nearby Dorchester to a Friary there with whoever wants to come along (sometimes an interesting mix of people). We just allow God some space and time to encounter us, speak to us, and change us.

Some of the volunteers come regularly to Hilfields, and I remember an early session when one of the volunteers really opened up about meeting with God. I had thought that perhaps they were just enjoying a free-day out, but God really challenged my judgmental attitude in that moment. I was fighting back the tears, as I realised that God was doing something real, deep and beautiful in their lives; and I had been incredibly judgmental in selling that short.

One of the things many of us – including Mark and I – have been exploring is a rule, rhythm or way of life, with some shared values to live by and to hold one another accountable to. As we began to talk, we ended up wondering if we really searched ourselves about how we could practically make real and achievable changes in our daily lives to better reflect the values of the Kingdom of God.

We began to do regular monthly events exploring themes such as “Doing December Differently”, where we looked at issues around trade-ethics, localism, sustainability, and stewardship. We invited many local groups that were implementing positive different ways of celebrating Christmas, which was not only a lot of fun and helped to network Christians and community activists, but has continued to be an on-going question exploring about doing other seasons differently:
Lent – how about keeping Lent local?
Advent – how about a reverse calendar, putting something in for a foodbank each day? Or choosing not to wrap our presents in plastic that ends in landfill, or not buying crackers that just end up in the bin
Harvest – perhaps we can look at reclaimed food being used to feed the hungry; Easter and Pentecost could be experienced differently in practical ways.

As we have set out on this journey, we have inadvertently discovered that it has attracted people to us and to the journey we felt called to. On one occasion, after posting some photos of an event, a mum sent me a message on facebook saying: “My kids would love this, could we have an event more children focused?” That was never part of the original vision, but we did it, and having children with us has radically transformed the feel of us as a community.

Through prayer stations and acts of random kindness, I have discovered that children really encounter God through different ways of praying, and they end up sharing remarkable and thought-provoking things with the adults.

So, as I splurged all this out before the guys at St. Thomas’s, I realized just how much God had done, both in me, and within our fledgling community too. If I had not had to talk about it to these people here at St. Thomas’s in Derby, would I have realized how much God has already done here amongst us in Poole?

Monasticism and Me.

One evening when I was about twenty one and working for a Church in York, my friend Luke appeared after the evening service with a huge bag of cooked sausages from a barbecue he had been having it must have been quite a party, or he had massively over-catered! He had brought rolls and ketchup and his idea was to give them out to the homeless of the city (York has a lot of homeless people). I joined him with a couple of others people. We chatted to the homeless people, and had opportunities to pray with some of them, they asked questions about Jesus and enjoyed eating hot (well warmish) dogs with them.

This was the first time I had done any work with the homeless and it felt like we were actually living out our faith, and for me I glimpsed a tiny bit of the “more” I was looking, believing that there was more of God than I had currently experienced (indeed, there is always more of God), but this was part of my own personal spiritual/theological revolution/reformation.

Just under two years before that my spiritual world had been transformed when I had not only rededicated my life to God, but also had an encounter with the Holy Spirit that had literally put me to the floor (ironic as a very ‘reformed evangelical’ I didn’t think God still did things like that!). As a Vicar’s kid I could speak Church fluently, but I had the heart of a new believer hungry for truth and transformation.

In that simple act of giving out hot-dogs something ‘clicked’ in my mind as I began to discover that proclaiming good news was a calling to be good news, I began to grasp something of a better understanding about the Kingdom of God which was the main theme of Jesus preaching on earth –up until then I always thought of the Kingdom of God as another way of saying heaven- and my understanding of salvation was a bit like getting a ticket to go there; as I began to re-think Salvation and the Kingdom of God I came to see them more as the Jewish word “Shalom,” which means “wholeness”: the good news is both holy and holistic, speaking into every area and element of life, good news for both now and for eternity. Discipleship was not just about avoiding sin but actively doing God’s will which meant discovering what is on God’s heart.

Whilst I was still journeying with these questions I had moved to Poole, Dorset, working as a schools worker, so lots of chances for proclamation of the good news of Jesus, but alongside this, I made a number of friends who were in a similar place to me, hungry for God, asking questions and wanting to go deeper, and feeling a bit dissatisfied with inherited Church. It was at that time that one of my friends,

Chris, who at that time wanted to be a worship leader, had a friend die tragically having had an incredibly tough and painful life, and his question was: “what did God think about all the abuse and exploitation she had been through?” in my friends wresting he ended up being mentored by a Prison Chaplain called Colin Harley, who helped Chris see how much is written in scripture about God’s heart for justice, anger at oppression and exploitation and his journey had a ripple effect through the entire group.

Another friend, Martin, grasped the importance of prayer being at the center of all we did, and a group of us used to meet every Saturday morning to eat croissants and pray for the young people of Poole; alongside this a few of us met to pray together every week. There was real accountability here –sometimes uncomfortably so- and brave vulnerability too.

Around this time many of us were reading books such as Red Moon Rising by Pete Greig or Punk Monk by Andy Freeman, talking about houses of prayer, modern monasteries and prayer rooms. We did several prayer rooms including on one occasion a whole week of prayer –and the most unlikely people just wandered in and prayed with us. These prayer rooms use things like posit notes, maps, candles, art installations to help inspire and motivate our prayer times –we all signed up for an hour, that felt a long time at the start of the session and by the end felt not nearly enough. Over that week we spotted lots of answers to prayer, that I think in the busyness of normal life many of us may have missed.

One day the phone rang, and it was a friend who was Vicar of a Church on the other-side of town in one of the most deprived areas, and he said “The Church has just been left a bungalow, I have heard that this guy Chris Harwood is wanting to live in an area like ours, wondered if God is doing something?” From that phone call, Chris and a friend called Alex (who had recently become a Christian) lived there as an intentional community, praying and working there as a detached youth worker. They called the bungalow ironically ‘Rose Cottage’ as it was far from picturesque! It also became a hub for others to come and join with them to pray, and support Chris’ detached work on the streets, parks and bus shelters of the parish.

Intentional communities can sustain long-term mission to an area, and offer something beautiful that the world is longing for.

I remember Chris being worried about looking like a posh middle-class boy coming to an estate to ‘do God’ to the people there, and so he was very respectful and wise about how he lived, talked and acted. Sadly, many Christians with a heart for mission work in deprived areas turn up with an unintentionally colonial or patronising attitude which, unsurprisingly, is not missionally fruitful!

After this, another friend Jon, became the chaplain to the nightclubs in Bournemouth, and was given a Vicarage to live in, which became another intentional community known as “Jesus Street”.

Very few of us were in the same Sunday Morning Congregation together, but in a very real way I think we were “being Church Together” and although we never quite saw Acts 2 and 4 fully realised it was one of the times in my life where I believe I have come the closet to seeing the dream becoming a reality.

At this time there was much discussion in the Christian world about “Fresh Expressions of Church” and this began to birth in us the idea of Church that could look different from that which we had inherited and had been passed on to us we began to dream again.

Yet, I believe the reason this was so fruitful was the depth of community, relationship, love that existed between us as friends travelling together, sometimes stumbling, but mainly Christward, and alongside us were a good number of friends who would not call themselves Christians, and a few who had been Christians but for whatever reason were not currently following Jesus.

I arrived at college which was for me a struggle as much of what I thought was really important, the lessons I learned, were not where many people were at, although there were two lecturers there who really inspired me; Mike Moynagh who had written extensively about Fresh Expressions and constantly challenged us to have the bravery to dare to dream and imagine a very different future –asking what could and should a community of people missionally living out the Kingdom of God look like in this context – the other was our director of studies called Howard Worsley. Howard was a Third Order Franciscan, who had served in some challenging parishes, and was committed to seeing Christians living amongst the most marginalized and broken often quoting “remember the poor” (Gal.2.10). It was Howard who oversaw Simon Cartwrights PHD and later Howard became Vice Principal of Trinity College Bristol and was an influence on Chris Harwood too.

When I started my curacy in Salisbury, I found some comfort in regular times of prayer with both the daily office and also the Trussell Trust who shared our Church hall used to have rhythms of prayer and reading scripture. It is crazy that as a Vicar it is amazing how hard it can be to maintain ones discipline of prayer and Bible reading, and having other Christians meeting together where I could join them really helped. Indeed, later when I was in Kingswood, I remember feeling really burned out and just sat with people praying even though I was struggling too, felt like I was somehow being held in prayer, other Christians praying when I simply struggled and just being there helped me and encouraged me.

I remember feeling really spiritually dry in Kingswood, I was meant to be preaching in another Church the following day, and I thought “I have nothing left to give” –I felt completely rung out. Somehow I ended up on youtube and listened to a talk by a guy called Shane Claiborne; and felt inspired again as he spoke about “the world needing to see a Church looking more like Jesus” another thing he said is we often ask “why doesn’t God do something about…” to that God replies “I did I made/sent you!” One of the thing Shane, this Holy Maverick does, is protests against things like exploitation of workers, the arms trade, the death penalty believing that “another world is possible” this would can look different and more as God intended us to be. One image that really struck me from this youtube clip was where their community hired a blacksmith, and took guns and knives and turned them into gardening tools echoing the words of:
“They will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore”.

Somewhere amid all of this I began to use the term new monastic finding echoes with scriptures such as: “Isn’t this the fast that I have chosen: to break the chains of wickedness, to untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and tear off every yoke is it not to share your bread with the hungry, to bring the poor and homeless into your home, to clothe the naked when you see them”. Wanting to both pray and offer practical help, engage in evangelism by word and deed, and wanting deeply to be part of a community that understands and shares this crazy dream of the Kingdom of God becoming more of a tangible reality in our context, that helps keeps one another going in a life that outsiders probably think is a bit bonkers.

My search for this, did lead me to one Church community that I thought got my heart, but sadly appointed someone else with a different vision, and left us feeling deeply confused. We ended up back in Poole, I still had lots of dreams and longings within my heart, but the challenge was finding where fitting in with a new community, who else would understand my crazy vision. Fortunately for my first year back in Poole, Chris who had been travelling this journey with me (over the last twenty years) and I overlapped for a year before God called in to Carlisle.

One day we were having a beer and he said “Mase, I was thinking, do you know a guy called Mark Phillips?”